My darkness, My soul, My love
by YamiSeirei
Summary: Yugi loves Yami but fear of rejection from Yami prevents him from admitting his true feelings. How will he overcome it?


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did well heh I guess you guys know what would happen ;)

My Darkness, my soul, my love.

Yugi Motou sat in class not really paying attention to what his physics teacher was saying. He was naturally good at all his subjects needing to do little work to gain good grades. His mind was currently focused on Yami. He was finding it increasingly difficult to stop himself from blushing when his yami was near or even just spoke to him through the link they shared. It had taken him a while to figure out why but now he knew. He loved him with all of his heart but he was scared of what Yami would think of him. Would he be angry? Disgusted? Would he hate him? He didn't know and he had no idea how to convey his feelings towards the ancient Pharaoh without actually saying it. Even if he did, would his yami retreat into the puzzle and lock his soul room door forever. At least at the moment while Yami didn't know how he felt, he wouldn't leave him and he didn't think he could bear it if he did. On the other hand keeping this secret to himself was hurting him deeply. His very soul hurt him and keeping his feelings hidden from Yami who was always present in his mind was causing him agony.

Not that he ever showed it, to everyone else he was the same happy cheerful Yugi who was clever and since he solved the puzzle three years before was liked by a lot of people. But inside of him he was being torn apart.

Yami of course had no idea his little hikari was in so much emotional pain. Yugi had worked so hard on controlling what went through the link for Yami to hear and feel that his true feelings never showed.

Yami was at that moment brooding in his soul room. He himself never knew how his hikari felt even though he loved him dearly he was in a similar state of mind to Yugi. What if his little light rejected him? Or broke up the puzzle imprisoning him again? He couldn't bear that. He constantly thought of his hikari and longed to hold him in his arms and bury his face in his silken soft hair and claim those wonderfully soft and perfect lips as his own but he had no idea how to tell Yugi. His fear stopped him even though he had tried many times but was stopped and had changed what he was going to say at the last minute. As a result Yugi often thought Yami said some very strange and random things!

Yami got up and opened his soul room door glancing across the hallway that separated his room from Yugi's. Cautiously he stepped across and tried the door. It was locked tight and Yami wondered why. It seemed that his hikari locked his door more and more often these days and it irked him slightly that Yugi had something on his mind and couldn't confide In him after all, he had always told Yugi that he could talk to him about anything. That comment had come just before he was about to tell Yugi how he truly felt but again he had stopped himself. He returned to his own soul room and with a heavy heart he locked his own door. That way he could lose himself in thoughts of his hikari without Yugi finding out even if he did try and come to him in his soul room.

Yugi stared out of the window unnoticed by his teacher who was still droning on. He glanced down at his note pad where he had been absentmindedly doodling Yami's name in various ways on the paper. Then it came to him the perfect solution. He would write Yami a letter expressing his feelings. But even then what if Yami rejected him? But he felt he had to get it off his chest and down on paper before his very soul was ripped apart with the effort of keeping it inside of him.

Yami lay on his bed his thoughts on Yugi and wondered why his soul room door was still locked. What was bothering him was that his door had now been locked to him for hours even though time meant nothing in his own soul room, he knew that it must be at least all day in the real world. He tossed and turned on his bed eventually falling into a light fitful sleep where he was plagued with dreams of him telling Yugi how he felt and Yugi looking at him shocked and then angry that his Yami dared to feel that way.

Yugi sat at his desk with a pen in his hand and a blank sheet of paper in front of him. He had sensed Yami knocking on his soul room door earlier on and knew that Yami was puzzled because it was locked.

Around him lay various screwed up pieces of paper, which were his previous attempts at writing his feelings down. None of them had felt right and all had been discarded.

He sighed and began to write.

A few hours later the pile round his feet had grown somewhat but he had finished. He looked at what he had written and hoped with all his heart that Yami would understand and not hate him. He knew what he had to do now. He had confessed all to his yami and now he had to leave. He couldn't bear the thought of Yami hating him and now that he was telling him how he felt a huge weight had lifted from him and he knew he needed to leave so he didn't have to face Yami's reaction whatever that might be. He had no idea where he would go he just knew he wanted to go somewhere away from here where he could live in his fantasy and not have to worry about whatever his dark's reaction would be.

Slowly he rose and packed a small bag. When he was done, he emptied his savings tin and pocketed the lot. There was a good amount there and he would be able to eat for a while at least.

Honda and Jounouchi would miss him he knew but he couldn't stay knowing that Yami hated him. No, he must leave.

He lay on his bed and retreated into his soul room. He got off the bed and approached the door. Opening it silently he crept across the hall and slipped the letter under Yami's door. He sensed that yami was asleep and as he crept back across to his own door he felt Yami wake up and run to the door. He managed to run through his own, slam and lock it just in time. He heard Yami throw open his own door and hammer on his.

"Aibou! Aibou open up please! I know something is wrong please tell me what it is!"

But he was met with silence and a bolted door. Tears began to run down Yami's face as he hammered. He felt no pain nor did his hands bleed as he was a spirit but his heart was bleeding and his soul was being torn apart. He sank to the floor his hammering becoming faint until it stopped altogether. He curled into a ball and cried as his heart broke.

He could feel nothing through the link, he couldn't even sense Yugi's presence and by this he knew that Yugi had taken the puzzle off.

"Why Yugi why?" He sobbed "I love you aibou." He whispered but there was no answer. Slowly he stood and dragging his feet, he walked to his own soul room. His head was cast down and it was then he saw the letter on the floor where Yugi had pushed it under the door.

He picked it up and unfolding it he began to read;

_Dear Yami,_

_I could not find the right words to express my feelings for you and so I decided to write them down. Ever since I solved the puzzle and we bonded, I have felt deep feelings for you. At first I thought it was gratitude for my wish of true friends granted but as time has gone on and we have fought together, I came to realise these feelings have grown into much more than just friendship and gratitude. The truth of it is I love you. I guess I always have I just didn't know it. I could not tell you as I was scared you will hate me so I have decided to leave and go somewhere far away where I can dream of you and not worry or be scared of your reaction to my feelings._

_Goodbye Yami and I'm sorry. My darkness, my soul, my love._

_Yugi._

Yami clutched the paper to his chest and wept all over again. Yugi was really gone and without the link open there was no way he could tell him that he loved him back. Now he was trapped here in the endless maze of corridors and rooms that made up his soul room with no escape to be able to even find his aibou let alone speak to him.

Curling up on his bed he cried himself to sleep.

Yugi heard Yami hammering on his soul room door and the tears rolled down his face as he closed his eyes and returned to the real world. He was still crying as he took the puzzle off and lay it on his desk.

With a whispered 'I'm sorry Yami' he heaved his bag onto his shoulder and made his way downstairs. Leaving a note for his Jii chan on the kitchen table he left by the back door and began to walk to the train station.

Katsuya Jounouchi was at that moment on his way to Yugi's house to see if he could play on his PS2 for a while. Even though his first name was Katsuya, only his mother called him that everyone else called him Jou. As he and his father had very little money he didn't have such luxuries as games consoles. Yugi had always said he could play on his as often as he wanted and so he was on his way there now to do exactly that.

He reached the game shop and knocked. Getting no answer he tried the door thinking that maybe Yugi was upstairs engrossed in something. However the door was locked so he went to where he knew Yugi's Jii chan stored a spare key. Taking the key from it's hiding place, he let himself in and made his way through the dark house up to Yugi's room.

He frowned, finding it in total darkness and turned on the light. The first thing he noticed was that the puzzle was lying on Yugi's desk. Why on earth had Yugi taken that off? Had he and Yami had a fight? Then he noticed that most of Yugi's clothes had gone from his wardrobe, which was open.

"What the…" He wondered out loud. It looked as if Yugi had gone off somewhere but why hadn't he told him about it? Weren't they best friends? Then why was he gone?

Jou looked more round the room and discovered the empty savings tin. Obviously Yugi wasn't planning on returning for a while and he was beginning to feel a little bit hurt by his friend's actions.

He picked up the puzzle and examined it.

"Are you in there Yami?" he asked it but the puzzle remained silent as if there was nothing special about it. What could he do?

Then he noticed the pile of screwed up paper around the desk and there was so much of it he wondered why he hadn't noticed it all before. Maybe there would be a clue as to why Yugi had left. He picked a couple up and began to read.

Several crumpled up pieces of paper later, Jou had the general jist of what Yugi was trying to write.

"He was trying to tell Yami he loves him." Jou though not entirely surprised. Yugi had managed to conceal his true feelings from Yami but not entirely from Jou who had suspected for a long time that Yugi loved his darker half. He also had a sneaking suspicion that Yami felt the same way but if Yugi's letters were true, Yugi was scared of what Yami's reaction would be.

Maybe that was why he had gone. None of the unfinished letters he had read had got that far but he suspected that was why.

But what could he do? There was no way he could think of to talk to Yami and he had no idea where Yugi had gone. He desperately wanted to help his friends but what could he do?

Hanging the puzzle round his neck, he left the house and began to search for Yugi.

"I'm sorry I'm afraid there are no more trains for several hours. You'll have to wait or come back tomorrow morning." The ticket attendant told Yugi.

"Arigato." Yugi said and went into the waiting room to sit it out as he felt he had nowhere else to go at that time.

Jou walked street after street looking for his small friend but he was having no luck. Where had he gone? Then he thought of the train station. What if Yugi had gone there? It was worth a try so he started to walk there quickly. If he couldn't find Yugi there he would go to Honda's house and ask him to help him.

Yugi was stirring the hot chocolate he had bought when Jou walked in. Yugi was so busy gazing into the cup that he never saw him until he sat down opposite him.

"Yugi." He said and the small figure opposite him jumped.

"Jou! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. I went round to your house and let myself in using that spare key you told me to use. I found your letters Yugi. You have to talk to Yami."

"No I don't he'll hate me I'm sure of it."

"Nah he won' I know how you feel about him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. If ya don' talk to him or even put the puzzle back on Yami will be trapped again just like he was before ya solved da puzzle. He'll be trapped in there. Do you really want to do dat to him again?"

Yugi hung his head.

"No." he said in a very small voice. He hadn't thought of that and now he felt guilty. If what Jou had said was true and Yami did love him back then he knew he should talk to him.

"Help me Jou. I…I don't know what to say to him."

"I'll help ya buddy. C'mon let's go home."

Yugi allowed Jou to lead him back home where he made them drinks before going up to Yugi's room. They sat and Jou handed the puzzle to Yugi.

"Go talk to him, I'll be here when you're finished." Jou said and Yugi took the puzzle and placed it round his neck. He lay back on his bed and retreated into his soul room.

He got up and went to the door. Unlocking it he crossed to Yami's door and knocked. At the same time he opened up his end of the link and reeled in shock as grief and sadness poured through his mind from Yami's end. Feeling ever more guilty he knocked again.

"Yami?" He called.

In his own soul room, Yami could feel his aibou again and knew that he must have put the puzzle back on. His heart leapt and hope flooded his soul. He rushed from the room he was in to the main door to his soul and heard Yugi on the other side.

He flung open the door and held out his arms to Yugi who blinked in shock for a couple of seconds before rushing into the outstretched arms and burying his face in Yami's chest.

Tears coursed down his cheeks as he realised that Yami was not angry or disgusted at him and as he felt the feelings of love flowing across the link he knew it was true.

"Yugi why did you leave? I could never be angry or hate you." Yami said. "I thought I would never see you again and I had tried so often to tell you that I love you too."

Yugi looked up at his dark all fear banished from his eyes to be replaced by pure love and happiness.

"Really Yami? I had wanted to tell you for the longest time I just didn't know how and I couldn't bear the thought of you rejecting me so I thought I had to leave. Jou came and found me and told me he thought you felt the same way so I came back. I love you so much it was tearing me apart."

"Oh Yugi…" Was all that Yami could manage before cupping Yugi's chin in his hand and giving him a tender kiss which was overflowing with love and something else Yugi couldn't quite put his finger on.

They broke the kiss and Yami held his hikari close to himself.

"I love you so much Yugi it hurts. My hikari, my soul, my love. Come, let me show you just how much I love you."

Taking Yugi's hand, he closed his soul room door and led Yugi to his bedroom to show his love in the physical sense.

In Yugi's room, Jou had fallen asleep with a smile on his lips as he knew his best friend in the world had finally managed to tell Yami how he really felt and he would finally be happy. He slept and dreamed of a certain CEO he couldn't get out of his own mind…

Owari

There ya go peeps, that little plot bunny was bugging me for days so I had to write it. Hope you enjoyed! Ja ne!


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